Is it possible to lust after your spouse?

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For young people, this will be the hardest thing about your nature to control. It allows good circulation of our blood. There is this happy competition: Who can make the other most happy?

Like getting pregnant by the other man. My adult son had some brilliant insight on this topic.

BEL MOONEY: My girlfriend is lovely... so why can't I stop lusting after the ex who left me?

By way of an answer, here is an extract from my : Biblically speaking, lust is always presented as something negative. Lust is about desiring something that is not yours to have. Lust is unhealthy desire. In the end, lust leads to our destruction. Because lust is always negative, we need to learn to distinguish it from those desires that are appropriate and healthy. For example, it is right to desire food when you are hungry, drink when you are thirsty, and sleep when you are tired. These are desires God gives us in order to stay healthy. But it is wrong when these desires get distorted — when our desire for food becomes gluttony, or our desire for drink drunkenness, or our desire for sleep laziness. In a similar way, it is right for a husband and wife to desire one another sexually, but it is wrong to have this desire towards someone you are not married to. Practically, this might mean that a husband carries a picture of his wife in the nude with him when he is away from home because he has a right to see and desire his wife. But carrying a picture of a woman who is not his wife would be lust, and wrong! So where does this leave you in how you should feel about your boyfriend or girlfriend? Obviously, there is meant to be physical attraction between you. But where is the line that means you have crossed into sinful lust? This becomes even more of a problem if you are going to get married, and the closer you get to the wedding day. I remember when Grace and I were engaged being given a book about sexual technique in order to help prepare us for when we were married. As we were engaged was it ok to now start fantasizing about sex? Was I lusting sinfully or staying on the straight and narrow? I think the first thing is realizing that it is lustful — and therefore sin — to desire anything that you are not entitled to. Until you have come into the covenant relationship of marriage with someone you have no rights over their body. You therefore need to be doing everything you can to kill lust — or it will kill you. But perhaps an even more important thing than recognizing what lust is, is seeking to have a heart that runs faithfully in pursuit of Jesus over and above anything else. If your number one desire is to live in a way that pleases him, then lust is going to get squeezed out of your way of thinking. And this means that rather than lusting after the person you are dating you will be seeking Jesus as to how you can best honor him and bless them. It means that you will be able to shepherd those desires and keep them where they are meant to be, just like a farmer herds a flock of willful sheep so they all stay in the place where they are safe. And if you do get married, having your heart directed in the right direction will mean that you are not bringing lust to bed, but pure and passionate desire for your marriage partner which you offer to them as a sacrifice of love — and not merely as a way to satisfy your own selfishness. Matthew leads Gateway Church, Poole. With his wife Grace, Matthew enjoys going for long runs and bike rides along the coast and deep into the Dorset countryside. Having four daughters he is also a keen student of teenage female psychology. Matthew thought he was going to be an agricultural research scientist but somehow ended up as a pastor. This has confirmed his belief in the sovereignty of God.

Like getting pregnant by the other man. I was sincere I felt nothing for her whatsoever but I amazed myself with the feelings that came over me. My question is - have I done the right thing. Maybe or maybe not. But you do have to work at lusting after girlfriend. ©News Group Newspapers Limited in England No. My ex and I had a very solo relationship, as she was always up for anything sexually, but she treated me badly. I had a close friend back home in Baltimore that I went to H. God made men and women for each other. The need to mate is difficult to supress once adrenalin surges in us.